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Browsing Category:

Therapy

  • InAsk Pepper, Bipolar II, Holistic healing, Lifestyle, Mental Health Awareness, Moods, Therapy

    Productive Manic Weekend

    What a productive weekend.

    I had the final touches for pepper birthday cards created. Thank you spouse for your illustration skills.

    Started my application to turn Pepper into a non profit.

    Made some cash selling on Poshmark.

    Pepper Poshmark

    Prepared another care package

    Had brunch with my bff and found out that bacon jam is heaven on earth. Thank you Jessica

    Bacon Jam

    Celebrated my oldest 24th birthday!!! (How’d he get so old lol )

    Created final T-shirt design for imperfectly perfect thank you again spouse for your illustration skills.

    I did some peer to peer support on 7 Cups

    Finished my blog post I started weeks ago.

    Stop Searching

    This is what a manic weekend can look like but also have a great support group.

    Sometimes I can be off putting because I seem like I’m trying to out do people.

    I find it hard at times to answer the question what are you up to? I usually don’t share all the things I am up to especially when I’m manic.

    I promise I’m not trying to over achieve but I do enjoying hitting my goals when I have the energy . I’m living my life guided by my heart and sometimes my manic mood grants me the extra energy to accomplish lots on the to do list. I’m lucky to have people in my life that help me along on all these projects. I look forward to the manic mood because I will have my weeks where I’m at a stand still.

    This year I’m putting extra effort to taking Pepper to the next level.

    Thankful for all of you for pushing me along extending kindness so I can get brave to do these scary things.

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  • InBipolar II, Holistic healing, Lifestyle, Mental Health Awareness, Moods, Relationships, Therapy

    Stop Searching

    One day while I was going on and on about trying to find purpose and make things work and what should I do with my life, blah blah blah. Right in the middle of my existential woe is me crisis I received the most valuable and treasured advice from my spouse.

    He said simply “ stop searching”.

    He is wise and most times it takes me about 6 months to catch up to his wisdom. He is so gracious about it too. He’ll offer advice and almost immediately I’ll frown at it only to come back to him months later as if it was my own idea. Usually he’ll give me his smug smile, the smile that says I told you so without being a jerk about it.

    When he said stop searching , it was one of the few times I stopped in my tracks and said “You’re right !”

    Lately I have really tried to be still and listen to the universe. I let it guide me rather than me trying to control it. This year I have also made a conscious effort in going with my heart and my intuition.  You can’t go wrong with listening to your heart right? What could go wrong…. Except that you put yourself out there, allow yourself to be vulnerable and maybe possibly be laughed at. How bad can it be lol.

    I come up with lots of crazy ideas that are sometimes met with giggles or advice like “how about you do adult things first, work really hard at your job move up the ladder and when you retire you can do all these things” or my favorite one “take care of your kids, you’re a mom and moms can’t have dreams until AFTER the kids bleed you dry of all your energy and money”. I totally don’t listen to that type of talk and those people are no longer in my life. I am a big believer in going after your passions even while adulting and raising kids.

    I am allowing the Universe /God / and my heart to take the reins.  I welcome the sneers and the giggles because we have only ONE life and I am running with my passion. I was born to do things, to serve and to help others. That is who I am. I am no longer trying to go against that.

    This year I started my care package program and I am overwhelmed by the responses to it. I set some pretty big goals this year and one of them is to send out love light and hope to those suffering from mental illness. We must do better as a society to let people know they are not alone, that they matter and the world needs them. If we can just give people a little hope imagine how much better the world will be.

    I am still on my 2018 goals as well.

    No toxic people

    No negativity

    And only positive vibes.

    I hope that 2018 is treating you well and that you focus on the positive around you. If you ever feel in despair and alone ,please know that you are not. There are people on this earth that care and want you to know that you are loved. Be kind to yourself  , be gentle to yourself and most of all love yourself.

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  • InBipolar II, Lifestyle, Mental Health Awareness, Moods, Relationships, Therapy

    Hypersexuality

    The fall/winter season is brutal for me; it’s like clockwork ,the time changes and I go spiraling down into the dark rabbit hole of depression. I am diagnosed as rapid cycling so fortunately (sometimes unfortunately) for me I also experience manic moods in between the spirals. Both moods aren’t good to have but the manic mood can provide some relief to the darkness.

    Manic moods are often welcoming until they start to cause problems. I am grateful that I have made connections with people like myself, they have turned out to be my saving grace during the crazy times. The importance of having friends that have the same illness as you can be life saving. There are many times my bipolar friends have talked me off the ledge (figuratively of course)

    During manic moods often times hypersexuality will show up adding more chaos to the mix. (By the way Hypersexuality  in my opinion is not discuss enough.) It is real burden to carry and especially hard to work through if you have no one to talk to. The subject is even more taboo when it comes to woman, especially one in a committed relationship.

    If you are interested in understanding what Hypersexuality is here is a link to BPHope and articles in relation to Hypersexuality.

    https://www.bphope.com/symptoms/hypersexuality/

    It is uncomfortable to try to talk to someone who is “normal” and never experienced this symptom . To explain that you are struggling with (for a lack of better words) keeping it in your pants or in my case keeping your legs closed can get you some weird looks or worst loss of friendships. This is a symptom of mania and no one should  feel ashamed for feeling they way you do during this time. There should be a safe place where you can discuss this issue. Friends who are like me can relate and we talk through it. I can be held accountable by having them check on me until the mood passes and/or  I make an appointment with my non judgmental therapist. (There’s another story on that – because judgmental therapist are the worst)

    Having these types of talks with your companion can turn into nasty arguments that clearly aren’t good for a person going through hyper sexuality . I never bring this topic up in my current relationship because thankfully I have a great support group that understands. Hypersexuality doesn’t equal a terrible person it is symptom of a much bigger issue. I hope we can start to focus on this and how we can cope with this taboo symptom of mania.. It is one of the nuances of having Bipolar and I am glad hypersexuality does not show up often but when it does I at least have somewhat of a game plan.

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  • InBipolar II, Holistic healing, Lifestyle, Therapy

    Self Preservation

    Things I did this week that are part of my self care campaign that I just started for myself.

    1) I remain teachable and made my  therapy appointment. I received my 2nd assignment of approaching all subjects with a positive attitude. We will see how this lesson turns out. I’m sure my husband will get the most benefit as I’m already a positive person just not always with him.

    2) Said no to my daughter of all people. I had this weekend planned to do nothing as I needed it. I wanted to recharge since we’ve been on the go. I felt guilty for about 30 seconds because I knew she would live.

    3) Took time to rest and recharge. I took cat naps and took it easy.


    4) Read. Continued reading Zelda.

    Zelda Fitzgerald

    5) Journaled – for me journaling is more than just what happened in my day , it’s a safe place to leave thoughts that need to get out of my head. It also houses my hopes and dreams. Even if those dreams are to swim with otters one day.

    6) Went on a few 2 mile walks

    7) Doodled- I can’t draw worth a damn but when I attempt to it’s always a cat doodle.


    Things I didn’t do

    1) Meditate

    Meditation for Beginners
    2) Yoga

    Yoga for beginners
    3) Drink more water.

    Benefits of drinking water 

    How were you kind to yourself? What self care  did you practice.  I’m interested in hearing what others do for self care & self love ❤️

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  • InHolistic healing, Lifestyle, Therapy

    Live in the moment

    I’ve had 2 therapy sessions in the last two weeks. I didn’t do therapy the last two years and now I’m up to my eyeballs in therapy. Family therapy session for the next 6 months and my own CBT therapy. 

    We started family therapy last week and it was really a good experience. Nothing earth shattering but good insight on how we as a family work as a whole. 

     I love therapy because when I leave my session the therapist  assigns homework. I always love a good challenge and also I’m secretly competitive and  feel like the therapist is daring me as if he doesn’t think I can succeed. 

    Working to be a better version of you is a lot freaking work. Hard work that will hopefully pay off by being a better huma. A better human that will in turn somehow make the world a teeny tiny bit better place. 

    This weekend I practiced truly living in the moment. 

    We took a weekend getaway to Austin. The first place on our list was Hamilton Pool Reserve

    I made a reservation for this place in late April. It was worth the wait and the quarter mile hike in the blazing heat. This place was amazing. 


    I was in my element sun and cool refreshing beautiful water. There were a few mishaps along the way. As a family we had some bickering due to communication break down but like a team we talked it out figured out what not to do and moved on. 

    I for one also had to work on refocusing my brain which is super hard. Trying to retrain an almost 45 year old mind is challenge for sure.  If my mind tried to get off on a tangent I tried to bring it  back in by focusing on the beauty around me. I love the beauty of nature and at heart I love to play outside and get dirty. It takes me back to being a kid. Nature truly awakens my spirit. 


    At the end of the night we hung out around the fire (yep in the middle of the summer) I learned the fire keeps bugs away lol. I looked at all of us my nieces included and was so proud on how far we’ve come as a family. I also gave myself a little credit as well. 

    Still growing still trying. I’m taking each of these experiences and practicing living in the moment. I find living in the moment slows down time and most importantly good for your mental health.  

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  • InBipolar II, Holistic healing, Lifestyle, Moods, Therapy

    New Therapist Take 1

    This is me…. and I need therapy. There I said it ! Really it’s not a big deal, in fact I think if you never ever thought you needed therapy you are missing out. Missing out on personal growth and learning lots of  insight about yourself.

    Even Katy Perry or rather Katherine Perry  live streamed her session. See link below.

    Katy Perry therapy session live stream

    I also love learning new words like parental child or Cognitive Behavior therapy.

    Parental child- for those of you who would like to know is usually the oldest more responsible of the siblings and most times a female. To be clear the only part of the definition I fall into is the “oldest” sibling. I learned this word while talking about the grieving process and my journey with losing my dad.

    I’ve participated in therapy for about 7 years, though not straight through because the last two years I took a break. The search for a new therapist is always a tough one. In fact I despise it and almost always dread the first appointment. Sometimes you know right away that you and the therapist will not make a good match. I’ve gone through quite a few. It’s important you connect with your therapist. At first in the beginning when I started therapy I didn’t know that. I thought it was clinical and it was just suppose to stick and miraculously work.

    Sometimes I ended up giving therapy to my own therapist or I’ve had a therapist cry after sharing some deep parts of my life. I think that particular therapist probably needed good therapy herself.

    I also had the judgy therapist (GAWD those are the worst ) like they can’t even fake their distain for you.

    I met my new therapist on Friday and instantly connected. He’s great and he did a lot of homework on me. Our first appointment was about a month wait time but well worth it. He’s much more up to speed technology wise than my therapists in the past. I was able to provide a write up on myself before getting to the appointment. To my suprise he actually read it. I even forgot some of things I wrote and had to be brought up to speed on some of my other issues. Lol.

    I start Cognitive Behavioral therapy and I’m super excited about it. If anyone cares to read the actual definition. See below.

    CBT definition
    All I gathered is it can’t hurt and I just might be able to retrain my mind and something about my mind’s plasticity. Either way I’m down for anything that does not require medication.

    Things I’m currently trying to help with my mental state.

    1) Meditation. Although I haven’t tried yet I enjoy listening to mediation by Jason Stephenson on YouTube. Authentic you meditation. Thank you to my Pepper Vintage friend for this suggestion.

    2) I listen to Tibetan singing bowls while I work. It eases the stress. Tibetan singing bowls

    3) I set aside Sunday mornings for coloring. I can’t color worth a damn and it takes me hours to finish one page. It’s soothing to only think about what shade of pink to use.

    Currently reading and coloring You Are Here

    4) Sage smudging see previous post. I’ve yet to do a redo of the last one. I will use Sage smudging 101 as a guide the next time.

    This business of having a mental illness and trying to keep balance is some hard work. It’s exhausting and so I push on looking for ways that might help. I’ve tried medication and it’s just not for me. So here I am on this semi holistic journey to keep my mind and spirit balanced.

    Closing my post with the quote below. I don’t know who the quote belongs to but this is how I view  my therapy will take me.

    You already are, the peace you are looking for. Be still and know that. 


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  • InBipolar II, Lifestyle, Mental Health Awareness, Therapy

    My Best Friend Buttons

    This is my best friend just a little tidbit about her. My husband bought her for me from a breeder in the hood ( PLEASE no lectures he meant well and we did save her from from a potential terrible situation)
    She was only 4 weeks old and I had to bottle feed her. Also there was a horrible distemper outbreak in Houston at the time and we were advised to keep her inside for a few months ,even after her vaccinations. I was so paranoid I kept her inside for 6 months of her life. (she hates other dogs as a result of living life like an inside cat) oh yeah she did have a cat friend to keep her company.
    Buttons came into my life in early 2010 a few months after I gave up a beautiful baby boy for adoption. She saved me and she is way too good for me.
    I don’t think I can ever pay her back for the amount of love and comfort she’s given me. This is my Buttons and I love her more than she will ever know.

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