0
Browsing Tag:

Mood swings

  • InAsk Pepper, Bipolar II, Holistic healing, Lifestyle, Mental Health Awareness, Moods, Therapy

    Productive Manic Weekend

    What a productive weekend.

    I had the final touches for pepper birthday cards created. Thank you spouse for your illustration skills.

    Started my application to turn Pepper into a non profit.

    Made some cash selling on Poshmark.

    Pepper Poshmark

    Prepared another care package

    Had brunch with my bff and found out that bacon jam is heaven on earth. Thank you Jessica

    Bacon Jam

    Celebrated my oldest 24th birthday!!! (How’d he get so old lol )

    Created final T-shirt design for imperfectly perfect thank you again spouse for your illustration skills.

    I did some peer to peer support on 7 Cups

    Finished my blog post I started weeks ago.

    Stop Searching

    This is what a manic weekend can look like but also have a great support group.

    Sometimes I can be off putting because I seem like I’m trying to out do people.

    I find it hard at times to answer the question what are you up to? I usually don’t share all the things I am up to especially when I’m manic.

    I promise I’m not trying to over achieve but I do enjoying hitting my goals when I have the energy . I’m living my life guided by my heart and sometimes my manic mood grants me the extra energy to accomplish lots on the to do list. I’m lucky to have people in my life that help me along on all these projects. I look forward to the manic mood because I will have my weeks where I’m at a stand still.

    This year I’m putting extra effort to taking Pepper to the next level.

    Thankful for all of you for pushing me along extending kindness so I can get brave to do these scary things.

    0
  • InBipolar II, Lifestyle, Mental Health Awareness, Moods

    Imperfectly Perfect

    This is the season when usually I’m way deep down in the dark hole of depression. I’m typically battling my way to the light. This season I’ve found myself in unfamiliar territory for this time of the year , hypomania.

    Hypomania has benefited me in several ways but it also caused a lot of headaches.

    First the benefits. I have enjoyed the creative flow and the confidence hypomania has given me. Also enjoy the energy spike, it’s has been a pretty good change from the constant exhaustion. I’m hitting goals that I haven’t been able to get to all year. Overall I’ve felt pretty good and energetic.

    Now the downfalls: although I’m enjoying the energy spike the energy also turns into anxiety. I get so high I end up anxious and panicked. It’s a strange feeling. The creative flow is great but the excessive thoughts and flight of ideas literally make me dizzy and a little confused. My spouse feels sorry for me at times because he witnessed how all over the place I am. He’s been a great help by sitting with me and organizing my ideas.

    In this mood I had the idea of creating more mugs for my Etsy shop and thus the picture of the mug in this post. This is only one of many ideas the mood gave me and also the confidence to follow through. The cup can be found in my Etsy shop. Anyone who purchases a cup will help me send out care-packages to those struggling with mental illness.

    https://www.etsy.com/listing/565407678/imperfectly-perfect-cappuccino-mug-we

    I started a PSA campaign this week.

    My goal is to get out 100 cards this month. I have 2 weeks to complete this task, so far I’ve only given out 5 but in my defense I only had 5 with me. I need to get organized for sure.

    Next month my goal is to design a new one and get 1000 out there. (Pretty sure that’s hypomania talking but it’s good to have a goal )

    I know this PSA isn’t anything huge but I hope it spreads the word and maybe gives someone hope. I was almost discouraged to not do this but I pushed past the criticism and went with my heart.

    0
  • InBipolar II, Lifestyle, Mental Health Awareness, Moods

    The Sad Season

    Sometimes I’m sad for no reason. Bipolar is a sneaky little pest. I have rapid cycling Bipolar and for the most part I do ok. For whatever reason Fall and Winter are not my months. As we make our way from fall to winter I struggle more and more as each month pass.

    Sometimes I get to the point of sadness where I feel scared ,lost and lonely. I wished I didn’t have to hide or fight it. I don’t feel suicidal but i feel super sad and heart broken. It would be so much easier if I didn’t have to fake it.

    I find the hardest part of my illness is trying to portray to the world I’m ok. When in reality I’m not. I’d like to be able to be sad and just say no I’m not ok and yes I’ve been crying. Society says if we don’t put on a good face for the world outside we are not fighting and instead we are giving into our illness.

    Let’s say I have a cold. I’m not expected to hide my symptoms maybe keep them under control by taking cough medicine or something like that but I still look sick. That’s ok. Society says “oh you have a cold, get some rest take care of yourself. ”

    If I’m depressed I’m expected to still seem bubbly and put a smile on my face.

    I write this to say that it’s exhausting and I do the fake it till I make it because I don’t want others to feel uncomfortable around me. I will do myself a favor and take time off and stay in bed. Sometimes it’s less stressful to not face the world. I call it getting rest. Letting my mind and soul sleep off the icky stuff. If it were a cold and not depression I’d do the same thing.

    0
  • InBipolar II, Lifestyle, Moods, Relationships

    Ridding bad juju and wicked moods with Sage (gone wrong)

    Last Sunday we attempted to rid my bad energy (my bad mood) from our dwelling. Seems that when  I landed in Houston (from our vacation in San Francisco)  I picked up  a wicked mood. The whole week  I was in such a funk. So much so I called the therapist to set an appointment.

    Sunday had been the worst. I was all over the place. I felt like I was losing my mind.  My mind went something like this : I want attention , no I don’t want attention, I want to be left alone, no I want to hang out , no I want to sleep all day , no I want to color. Ah coloring yes that is it ! I’m doing that ! I colored and while coloring I realized I hated the color palette  and my pictute looked ugly.  (By the way this coloring book is awesome just not my coloring).

    You are here

    One of my lovely followers on my Facebook pagePepper Vintage suggested sage burning. I did a tiny bit of research on how sage burning /smudging could rid the bad energy as well as depression and lots of other benefits.  I have to mention that tiny research was Pinterest memes like this one.


    After mentioning to my husband about sage smudging he was on it. Next thing I knew we were at Wholefoods purchasing white sage.  Novice sage smudgers and the aftermath pictured below.   We didn’t have a proper bowl or feather. We settled on my favorite fiestaware bowl.

    Our first attempt ended up with all of us smelling like a questionable herb and a smokey apartment. If I read the instructions the first thing mentioned was …. open a window. Note to self for next time. OPEN WINDOW.

    I knew it wasn’t going  well when I walked into the restroom and witnessed the guy performing the sage smudging  fake smoking the sage. Pretty sure this is not how to chase the bad juju away.

    Something must have worked, I think it was the smoke inhalation. My mood has greatly improved and I am somewhat back to normal again. My family can tolerate me and I don’t feel like I am going off the rails anymore. Thank you smoldering sage and my fiestware bowl for helping me get back on track.

    Sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures and so you will try just about anything. I am determine to have another sage burning ceremony in my place. Placing an order on Amazon this week so I can spare my fiestaware bowl.  There is a beautiful iridescent  shell bowl with my name on it. I will update you all as we become experts on this. Also I need a chant or a haiku to chase off the bad energy.

    Oh and if anyone has any suggestions or tips for ridding bad energy and depression please feel free to offer some tips. I can’t pay you money but I can send lots and lots of good vibes to the universe on your behalf.

    *Mental health mention. Since I am not on medication and decided not to hope on my cocktail I am looking at some holistic an alternative approaches* This is one of them, once I figure out how it works. 

     

     

    3