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Browsing Tag:

meditation.

  • InBipolar II, Holistic healing, Lifestyle, Relationships

    Making Peace with the Universe

    A few weeks ago I started reading “You are a Badass How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life” by Jen Sincero.

    You are a Badass

     

    This is a book I’ve been trying to avoid at all cost. It’s everywhere and so many people I know have read and gushed about it. I despise self -help books it’s like they tell you things you already know. They bore me and for the most part I feel like I can help myself if I can just focus or if my bipolar isn’t acting up and causing trouble.

    So ever since the day my husband gave me to great advice of, stop searching. I’ve really have stopped searching. Instead I listen; I listen to the universe and allow the universe to guide me as well as my heart. While we were on our little weekend getaway I popped in a book store and the book was right on the shelf staring me in my face. I thought ok universe I’ll get the damn book. I did and started to read it right away then life happened. Kids, hectic work schedule, a little anxiety and bipolar thrown in, so I did the next best thing, I listened to the audio book. The book was great and was totally in line with how my life was going. I didn’t hate it like I thought I would. It was very helpful and now I listen to the audio book at least once a week to reaffirm what I’ve learned from the book. What I liked the most is her mention of the universe and how that really resonated with me.

    Since I’ve stopped searching I’ve been a bit more in harmony with the universe.  I find I do not have the cluttered up thoughts in my mind or as much anxiety. At times I  feel at peace and at ease, it’s a strange feeling especially for someone who was used to having chaos in her brain 24/7. I also started to meditate but I am failing miserably at this mainly because I am not making it a priority and only trying to fit in a few minutes here and there. I really want to do better with that, baby steps.

    Even though I am still for the universe to guide me, it is guiding me. I am not sitting around doing nada all day long. These days are more productive. Exciting things happening for me the first qtr of 2018, the main one being filing for nonprofit status, I’ve wanted to do this for years but was too scared to make the jump. With love and support I took the leap and I will find out if it’s approved in about 30 days or so. I’ve master the baby step technique this year and I am no longer beating myself up for not doing enough.

    This new way of living is new to me but it is also helpful for the bipolar that tries to disrupt my life at times. When I feel the rise of bipolar inside of me I quickly think of things I am grateful for. I try to refocus my thoughts to things that are good in my life. While my bipolar isn’t as bothersome as was in the past I still have it and still shows up. I have to remember that I do have an illness and it does flare up and sometimes my found way of living still won’t ward off the bipolar effect 100%. I am trying to be much better about self-care because the minute I let that slip everything else does.

    I will be back to update on the care-packages on how you can sponsor one for someone struggling with a mental illness or get one for yourself. This is a project very near and dear to my heart. I wish I could get out more but baby steps 🙂

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  • InBipolar II, Holistic healing, Lifestyle, Moods, Therapy

    New Therapist Take 1

    This is me…. and I need therapy. There I said it ! Really it’s not a big deal, in fact I think if you never ever thought you needed therapy you are missing out. Missing out on personal growth and learning lots of  insight about yourself.

    Even Katy Perry or rather Katherine Perry  live streamed her session. See link below.

    Katy Perry therapy session live stream

    I also love learning new words like parental child or Cognitive Behavior therapy.

    Parental child- for those of you who would like to know is usually the oldest more responsible of the siblings and most times a female. To be clear the only part of the definition I fall into is the “oldest” sibling. I learned this word while talking about the grieving process and my journey with losing my dad.

    I’ve participated in therapy for about 7 years, though not straight through because the last two years I took a break. The search for a new therapist is always a tough one. In fact I despise it and almost always dread the first appointment. Sometimes you know right away that you and the therapist will not make a good match. I’ve gone through quite a few. It’s important you connect with your therapist. At first in the beginning when I started therapy I didn’t know that. I thought it was clinical and it was just suppose to stick and miraculously work.

    Sometimes I ended up giving therapy to my own therapist or I’ve had a therapist cry after sharing some deep parts of my life. I think that particular therapist probably needed good therapy herself.

    I also had the judgy therapist (GAWD those are the worst ) like they can’t even fake their distain for you.

    I met my new therapist on Friday and instantly connected. He’s great and he did a lot of homework on me. Our first appointment was about a month wait time but well worth it. He’s much more up to speed technology wise than my therapists in the past. I was able to provide a write up on myself before getting to the appointment. To my suprise he actually read it. I even forgot some of things I wrote and had to be brought up to speed on some of my other issues. Lol.

    I start Cognitive Behavioral therapy and I’m super excited about it. If anyone cares to read the actual definition. See below.

    CBT definition
    All I gathered is it can’t hurt and I just might be able to retrain my mind and something about my mind’s plasticity. Either way I’m down for anything that does not require medication.

    Things I’m currently trying to help with my mental state.

    1) Meditation. Although I haven’t tried yet I enjoy listening to mediation by Jason Stephenson on YouTube. Authentic you meditation. Thank you to my Pepper Vintage friend for this suggestion.

    2) I listen to Tibetan singing bowls while I work. It eases the stress. Tibetan singing bowls

    3) I set aside Sunday mornings for coloring. I can’t color worth a damn and it takes me hours to finish one page. It’s soothing to only think about what shade of pink to use.

    Currently reading and coloring You Are Here

    4) Sage smudging see previous post. I’ve yet to do a redo of the last one. I will use Sage smudging 101 as a guide the next time.

    This business of having a mental illness and trying to keep balance is some hard work. It’s exhausting and so I push on looking for ways that might help. I’ve tried medication and it’s just not for me. So here I am on this semi holistic journey to keep my mind and spirit balanced.

    Closing my post with the quote below. I don’t know who the quote belongs to but this is how I view  my therapy will take me.

    You already are, the peace you are looking for. Be still and know that. 


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