Browsing Tag:

mental health

  • InBipolar II, Holistic healing, Lifestyle, Relationships

    Making Peace with the Universe

    A few weeks ago I started reading “You are a Badass How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life” by Jen Sincero.

    You are a Badass


    This is a book I’ve been trying to avoid at all cost. It’s everywhere and so many people I know have read and gushed about it. I despise self -help books it’s like they tell you things you already know. They bore me and for the most part I feel like I can help myself if I can just focus or if my bipolar isn’t acting up and causing trouble.

    So ever since the day my husband gave me to great advice of, stop searching. I’ve really have stopped searching. Instead I listen; I listen to the universe and allow the universe to guide me as well as my heart. While we were on our little weekend getaway I popped in a book store and the book was right on the shelf staring me in my face. I thought ok universe I’ll get the damn book. I did and started to read it right away then life happened. Kids, hectic work schedule, a little anxiety and bipolar thrown in, so I did the next best thing, I listened to the audio book. The book was great and was totally in line with how my life was going. I didn’t hate it like I thought I would. It was very helpful and now I listen to the audio book at least once a week to reaffirm what I’ve learned from the book. What I liked the most is her mention of the universe and how that really resonated with me.

    Since I’ve stopped searching I’ve been a bit more in harmony with the universe.  I find I do not have the cluttered up thoughts in my mind or as much anxiety. At times I  feel at peace and at ease, it’s a strange feeling especially for someone who was used to having chaos in her brain 24/7. I also started to meditate but I am failing miserably at this mainly because I am not making it a priority and only trying to fit in a few minutes here and there. I really want to do better with that, baby steps.

    Even though I am still for the universe to guide me, it is guiding me. I am not sitting around doing nada all day long. These days are more productive. Exciting things happening for me the first qtr of 2018, the main one being filing for nonprofit status, I’ve wanted to do this for years but was too scared to make the jump. With love and support I took the leap and I will find out if it’s approved in about 30 days or so. I’ve master the baby step technique this year and I am no longer beating myself up for not doing enough.

    This new way of living is new to me but it is also helpful for the bipolar that tries to disrupt my life at times. When I feel the rise of bipolar inside of me I quickly think of things I am grateful for. I try to refocus my thoughts to things that are good in my life. While my bipolar isn’t as bothersome as was in the past I still have it and still shows up. I have to remember that I do have an illness and it does flare up and sometimes my found way of living still won’t ward off the bipolar effect 100%. I am trying to be much better about self-care because the minute I let that slip everything else does.

    I will be back to update on the care-packages on how you can sponsor one for someone struggling with a mental illness or get one for yourself. This is a project very near and dear to my heart. I wish I could get out more but baby steps 🙂

  • InAsk Pepper, Bipolar II, Holistic healing, Lifestyle, Mental Health Awareness, Moods, Therapy

    Productive Manic Weekend

    What a productive weekend.

    I had the final touches for pepper birthday cards created. Thank you spouse for your illustration skills.

    Started my application to turn Pepper into a non profit.

    Made some cash selling on Poshmark.

    Pepper Poshmark

    Prepared another care package

    Had brunch with my bff and found out that bacon jam is heaven on earth. Thank you Jessica

    Bacon Jam

    Celebrated my oldest 24th birthday!!! (How’d he get so old lol )

    Created final T-shirt design for imperfectly perfect thank you again spouse for your illustration skills.

    I did some peer to peer support on 7 Cups

    Finished my blog post I started weeks ago.

    Stop Searching

    This is what a manic weekend can look like but also have a great support group.

    Sometimes I can be off putting because I seem like I’m trying to out do people.

    I find it hard at times to answer the question what are you up to? I usually don’t share all the things I am up to especially when I’m manic.

    I promise I’m not trying to over achieve but I do enjoying hitting my goals when I have the energy . I’m living my life guided by my heart and sometimes my manic mood grants me the extra energy to accomplish lots on the to do list. I’m lucky to have people in my life that help me along on all these projects. I look forward to the manic mood because I will have my weeks where I’m at a stand still.

    This year I’m putting extra effort to taking Pepper to the next level.

    Thankful for all of you for pushing me along extending kindness so I can get brave to do these scary things.

  • InBipolar II, Lifestyle, Mental Health Awareness

    Postcards from Pepper


    September is Suicide Prevention month and I have prepared a new Pepper Post Card for this month’s campaign. Starting to tomorrow on my Facebook Pepper Vintage I will be asking for my friends of Pepper to send in a photo with caption why life is beautiful. It can be your grand baby, your fur baby, yourself , a place you love to go like the beach, whatever it is that makes life beautiful for you.

    My approach is a little different. I want to take this month to celebrate life and remind us all how beautiful life can be. Anyone participating will receive the special Thank you Pepper Card, to add to this I will be selecting one person to receive a Pepper Self Care Package with Pepper Goodies and things to help you relax and practice self care.

    This subject is near and dear to my heart. I am a attempted suicide survivor 3x’s. At my worst time with my illness and my last suicide attempt I decided I would not let my illness win. I have been fighting back ever since. Recently I lost a really great friend to suicide and I know too many people who have had their lives changed forever because of suicide. While trying to cope with the loss of my friend, I decided to celebrate him. I gathered all the pictures I could of his travels and all the wonderful things I saw in his life. I wanted to focus and keep remembering how beautiful his life was even if he didn’t think so. He will be greatly missed and I am forever changed by him.

    I hope one day as a society we can get to the point where instead of judging one another we can have people feel loved and safe. If they are hurting they aren’t ashamed to say “I am not ok, I need help.”

    Let’s keep talking and loving one another. In all the darkness there is light at the end of the tunnel. Never give up. Much love, Pepper

  • InBipolar II, Holistic healing, Lifestyle, Therapy

    Self Preservation

    Things I did this week that are part of my self care campaign that I just started for myself.

    1) I remain teachable and made my  therapy appointment. I received my 2nd assignment of approaching all subjects with a positive attitude. We will see how this lesson turns out. I’m sure my husband will get the most benefit as I’m already a positive person just not always with him.

    2) Said no to my daughter of all people. I had this weekend planned to do nothing as I needed it. I wanted to recharge since we’ve been on the go. I felt guilty for about 30 seconds because I knew she would live.

    3) Took time to rest and recharge. I took cat naps and took it easy.

    4) Read. Continued reading Zelda.

    Zelda Fitzgerald

    5) Journaled – for me journaling is more than just what happened in my day , it’s a safe place to leave thoughts that need to get out of my head. It also houses my hopes and dreams. Even if those dreams are to swim with otters one day.

    6) Went on a few 2 mile walks

    7) Doodled- I can’t draw worth a damn but when I attempt to it’s always a cat doodle.

    Things I didn’t do

    1) Meditate

    Meditation for Beginners
    2) Yoga

    Yoga for beginners
    3) Drink more water.

    Benefits of drinking water 

    How were you kind to yourself? What self care  did you practice.  I’m interested in hearing what others do for self care & self love ❤️

  • InHolistic healing, Lifestyle, Therapy

    Live in the moment

    I’ve had 2 therapy sessions in the last two weeks. I didn’t do therapy the last two years and now I’m up to my eyeballs in therapy. Family therapy session for the next 6 months and my own CBT therapy. 

    We started family therapy last week and it was really a good experience. Nothing earth shattering but good insight on how we as a family work as a whole. 

     I love therapy because when I leave my session the therapist  assigns homework. I always love a good challenge and also I’m secretly competitive and  feel like the therapist is daring me as if he doesn’t think I can succeed. 

    Working to be a better version of you is a lot freaking work. Hard work that will hopefully pay off by being a better huma. A better human that will in turn somehow make the world a teeny tiny bit better place. 

    This weekend I practiced truly living in the moment. 

    We took a weekend getaway to Austin. The first place on our list was Hamilton Pool Reserve

    I made a reservation for this place in late April. It was worth the wait and the quarter mile hike in the blazing heat. This place was amazing. 

    I was in my element sun and cool refreshing beautiful water. There were a few mishaps along the way. As a family we had some bickering due to communication break down but like a team we talked it out figured out what not to do and moved on. 

    I for one also had to work on refocusing my brain which is super hard. Trying to retrain an almost 45 year old mind is challenge for sure.  If my mind tried to get off on a tangent I tried to bring it  back in by focusing on the beauty around me. I love the beauty of nature and at heart I love to play outside and get dirty. It takes me back to being a kid. Nature truly awakens my spirit. 

    At the end of the night we hung out around the fire (yep in the middle of the summer) I learned the fire keeps bugs away lol. I looked at all of us my nieces included and was so proud on how far we’ve come as a family. I also gave myself a little credit as well. 

    Still growing still trying. I’m taking each of these experiences and practicing living in the moment. I find living in the moment slows down time and most importantly good for your mental health.  

  • InBipolar II, Holistic healing, Lifestyle, Moods, Therapy

    New Therapist Take 1

    This is me…. and I need therapy. There I said it ! Really it’s not a big deal, in fact I think if you never ever thought you needed therapy you are missing out. Missing out on personal growth and learning lots of  insight about yourself.

    Even Katy Perry or rather Katherine Perry  live streamed her session. See link below.

    Katy Perry therapy session live stream

    I also love learning new words like parental child or Cognitive Behavior therapy.

    Parental child- for those of you who would like to know is usually the oldest more responsible of the siblings and most times a female. To be clear the only part of the definition I fall into is the “oldest” sibling. I learned this word while talking about the grieving process and my journey with losing my dad.

    I’ve participated in therapy for about 7 years, though not straight through because the last two years I took a break. The search for a new therapist is always a tough one. In fact I despise it and almost always dread the first appointment. Sometimes you know right away that you and the therapist will not make a good match. I’ve gone through quite a few. It’s important you connect with your therapist. At first in the beginning when I started therapy I didn’t know that. I thought it was clinical and it was just suppose to stick and miraculously work.

    Sometimes I ended up giving therapy to my own therapist or I’ve had a therapist cry after sharing some deep parts of my life. I think that particular therapist probably needed good therapy herself.

    I also had the judgy therapist (GAWD those are the worst ) like they can’t even fake their distain for you.

    I met my new therapist on Friday and instantly connected. He’s great and he did a lot of homework on me. Our first appointment was about a month wait time but well worth it. He’s much more up to speed technology wise than my therapists in the past. I was able to provide a write up on myself before getting to the appointment. To my suprise he actually read it. I even forgot some of things I wrote and had to be brought up to speed on some of my other issues. Lol.

    I start Cognitive Behavioral therapy and I’m super excited about it. If anyone cares to read the actual definition. See below.

    CBT definition
    All I gathered is it can’t hurt and I just might be able to retrain my mind and something about my mind’s plasticity. Either way I’m down for anything that does not require medication.

    Things I’m currently trying to help with my mental state.

    1) Meditation. Although I haven’t tried yet I enjoy listening to mediation by Jason Stephenson on YouTube. Authentic you meditation. Thank you to my Pepper Vintage friend for this suggestion.

    2) I listen to Tibetan singing bowls while I work. It eases the stress. Tibetan singing bowls

    3) I set aside Sunday mornings for coloring. I can’t color worth a damn and it takes me hours to finish one page. It’s soothing to only think about what shade of pink to use.

    Currently reading and coloring You Are Here

    4) Sage smudging see previous post. I’ve yet to do a redo of the last one. I will use Sage smudging 101 as a guide the next time.

    This business of having a mental illness and trying to keep balance is some hard work. It’s exhausting and so I push on looking for ways that might help. I’ve tried medication and it’s just not for me. So here I am on this semi holistic journey to keep my mind and spirit balanced.

    Closing my post with the quote below. I don’t know who the quote belongs to but this is how I view  my therapy will take me.

    You already are, the peace you are looking for. Be still and know that.